The Second Annual TBP All-Stars
Yeah it's time to talk about guys I think are cool
Second annual? Did you read that right? Yes! The Broken Press is over one year old so everyone please say happy belated birthday, Broken Press. It would appreciate hearing that — from you especially.
Last year this piece was called the “Guys Roster” and you all seemed to enjoy it (although there are many more of you now, which I appreciate) so we’re running it back. If you are new here, this is, in essence, a list of players I think are cool. No other common thread exists. I think they’re cool — that’s it. I see you typing right now oh Quinn, why did you pick— LET ME STOP YOU. The answer is because I think he’s cool.
Amen Thompson, Houston Rockets
We know about the defensive intensity from Thompson — I wrote about him and the Rockets last week — and that non-stop vigor is a huge part of why he’s a TBP All-Star.
Still, I have as much fun watching him slither and bumper car and whirlwind his way to the basket offensively. Thompson has a 61% true shooting clip despite shooting under 70% from the free throw line and under 28% from three-point, which is perhaps the strangest shooting profile a 6’7 forward can have.
The true shooting remains so high because of stuff like this; Thompson’s body control and strength combo is grand. He’s shooting 71% within three feet of the hoop and is big enough to dismiss guards like he does to Jared McCain here. TBP All-Star on TBP All-Star Crime… sad to see.
Another big reason he makes the team is because he always appears to be running twice as fast as everyone else on the court. I’m always impressed when a player’s athleticism stands out among the best athletes in the world.
Tidjane Salaün, Charlotte Hornets
My favorite thing about Salaün is that he moves like someone who has no idea how to play basketball. I don’t know how else to describe it… his posture on the court is so outrageous I must put him on this list. I’m always drawn to players who move weirdly.
Just look at how he runs into the paint here. It looks like he accidentally ended up dunking the ball in an NBA game.
I also love that Salaün exudes confidence despite shooting 31% from the field so far in his NBA career while playing on perhaps the least serious team in the league not named the Wizards. This guy rocks.
He’s going to be a good NBA player eventually simply because he busts his ass and the shooting should be above league average. But for now he’s a TBP All-Star because I enjoy the way he runs around.
Bilal Coulibaly, Washington Wizards
You know the scene in Wall-E when he finds the last plant on Earth in an old fridge? That’s how it feels to watch Bilal Coulibaly on the Washington Wizards. Something so beautiful and pure surrounded by so much suffering…
Okay, a little dramatic on that, I apologize. Coulibaly isn’t playing that well right now (he’s down to 12.3 points per game for the season) but I’ll go on a limb and say we shouldn’t be too critical of a 20 year-old on a team that hasn’t won a game in 38 days.
Coulibaly is going to be a 20-plus point per game scorer in about five years, and I think he possesses some distribution upside too.
I’m not deterred at all in believing Coulibaly has NBA All-Star upside. He’s already made a TBP All-Star roster which many folks believe is more prestigious.
Two French players on this roster… Really makes you think.
Jared McCain, Philadelphia 76ers
I LOVE THE TIKTOK BOY AND I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE.
McCain is a pretty incredible shooter, both off the dribble and off the catch. He’s probably on his way to becoming an incredible all-around scorer, too, thanks to his touch and feel for angles while driving. But right now his best skill is shooting that shit.
I love rookies who take — and make — heat checks and McCain isn’t afraid to hoist up shots on multiple consecutive possessions.
All this kid wants to do is hoop and post his TikToks and frankly we should let him.
McCain is a TBP All-Star because he’s seemingly unbothered by everything — to the point where I don’t think he realizes how important he’s going to be for Philadelphia yet… but the rest of us do.
Toumani Camara, Portland Trail Blazers
That’s right, folks — Toumani Camara is the first-ever 2X TBP ALL-STAR! Congratulations, Toumani and Toumaniacs everywhere.
Camara becoming the best player in the Jusuf Nurkic / DeAndre Ayton trade is the funniest outcome. You know what’s not funny? How much this guy will clamp your favorite player’s shit on defense.
Seriously, who’s your favorite player? Luka? Gimme!
Trae Young? Gimme! Clamped him so hard that Lamar Hurd started barking on regional television.
James Harden? I want it!
I love Camara because he would be a season-altering addition for any contending team but instead he’s playing incredibly low-stakes basketball for the Portland Trail Blazers. No one else can have him… no one else deserves him.
His on-ball defense is what will make him money in this league, but an improved three-point shot (39% this year) doesn’t hurt any.
Darius Garland, Cleveland Cavaliers
I’ve never heard Darius Garland speak but I still root for him to succeed like he’s my son. His bounce back season after a broken jaw has been so satisfying — he deserves to be in the NBA All-Star discussion as the No. 2 option on the best team in the NBA.
I’m always confident Garland is going to make the right play, but he differs from other “floor generals” in that he can also pop off for 30 points himself. The smart point guard who can also get a bucket is always going to make the TBP All-Stars.
Cam Thomas, Brooklyn Nets
My only sunshine… you make me happy… when skies are grey…
I don’t need to explain this pick any further. Cam Thomas makes about a dozen cool baskets a game and he’s averaging 25 points per game on 60% true shooting and a usage rate of 31%. Don’t tell me about his on/off splits, don’t tell me about his assist to turnover rate. I don’t care!
Quentin Grimes, Dallas Mavericks
Grimes has had a weird career because he’s pretty much always been good but hasn’t found consistent rotational minutes (thanks Thibs) but he’s going to end up as the Mavs best offseason addition by a pretty long shot.
I love Grimes because he plays like he’s a swingman from 2007.
Players Who Also Received Votes
Don’t get mad at me, but there wasn’t actually a voting process. It’s just me in my apartment. So when I say players who also received votes that actually means players I also think are cool but either I’ve written about them a lot in the past or I don’t have anything interesting to say about them to justify a whole graph.
Malik Monk - Always and forever, my friend.
Jaylen Wells - Why is he so good already? He was the 39th pick who spent two years at Sonoma State and he’s playing like a veteran as a rookie.
Jay Huff - Fuck it we needed a center on here
What I’m Listening to: The Coup
Yes, I’ve posted this song here before. It just feels topical right now… not sure why…
Anyway, healthcare should be free… not sure why that thought popped into my head…
Happy belated birthday, Broken Press!
to say I have been waiting for this is an understatement