TBP End Of Season Awards
There is a dress code
The NBA regular season is almost over. I know, I know. Sad. On the bright side, it’s time for some more TBP Awards! If you missed our inaugural awards from earlier this season, you can check them out here:
Personally, I’m not going to read that because I’m afraid of how those awards hold up in retrospect and I’m bad at owning up to my mistakes. Nonetheless… let’s put on our metaphorical tuxedos and give out some hardware. Not real tuxedos. No one’s ever looked cool in a tuxedo. I’m sorry.
The Wicked Wheel Award
Winner: Orlando Magic
If you’re unfamiliar— in other words, you’re not a degenerate gambler— then you’re probably confused about the name of this award, so let me explain. The Wicked Wheel is part of a popular slot machine— this fucker right here:
and if you hit some sort of jackpot on the main game you get to spin the Wicked Wheel, which means you’re guaranteed the Big Bucks also known as playing with house money. So this award goes to the team playing with enough house money to get banished from the casino, the (potential three-seed) Orlando Magic. Making the 9 vs. 10 play-in game would have been a success for this team in 2023-24. Instead, a roster made up of compelling young players and also Joe Ingles is in striking distance of playoff home court advantage and that’s such a hilariously large overachievement that Magic fans should just enjoy every minute of the rest of this run. Congrats, Magic! Enjoy your free spins!
Under The Radar Star Award
Winner: Jalen Johnson, Atlanta Hawks
Is Jalen Johnson still flying under the radar? I’m not quite sure— within NBA circles, folks rave about him. But outside of NBA circles, I don’t think anyone has watched a Hawks game in approximately three years, so… tough to tell. I think he’d be a finalist— perhaps the outright favorite— for Most Improved Player if he reached the games played threshold. Regardless of how he’s perceived now, an ascension to stardom is inevitable.
Sometimes you look at who a guy becomes and think how it was ever possible that he was thought of as anything else but an obvious star, and Johnson is that guy.
I won’t claim to know more ball than NBA scouts because that would be silly. I’m massively stupid. But this guy falling to 20th in a draft— even with injury concerns!!— seems like a massive oversight.
The Paul Giamatti “Know Your Role” Award
Winner: Daniel Gafford, Dallas Mavericks
Double congratulations are in order for Daniel Gafford. The first (bigger) congrats is for winning this award, and the second congrats is for transitioning from not playing with Luka Doncic to playing with Luka Doncic at the halfway point of this season. Gafford was traded to Dallas and has fit like a mitten.
The Mavs tell Gafford to go dunk the ball and block the ball and he does both of those things incredibly well (78% FG and 2.0 BPG as a Mav.) He will likely be the most important trade deadline acquisition to the NBA postseason.
The WWII “Most Impressive Tank” Award
Winner: Joe Cronin, Portland Trail Blazers
Our first multi-time winner! Congrats to Joe Cronin, who also won this award in 2021-22— back when The Broken Press had a different name and was only published on Twitter— for his work in the last few months of that season. Oh, how far we’ve come here at TBP, and oh, how not far Portland has come in its rebuild. Pain.
I attended a Blazers game recently, and at one point I watched the team roll out a lineup consisting of Ashton Hagans, Rayan Rupert, Tre’Sean Wilks, Justin Minaya and Duop Reath. Guess what? One of those guys isn’t real! But I bet you don’t even know which one! That’s about where the Blazers are at right now. There has to be some movement next year or things will start looking a lot more like Detroit than Oklahoma City in Portland. Sorry, that was a lot of cities.
It was Tre’Sean Wilks, by the way. That’s not a real guy.
SRROY (Second Round Rookie of the Year)
Winner: GG Jackson, Memphis Grizzlies
This was a tightly contested award— Trayce Jackson-Davis has emerged late for Golden State, but a great college player being drafted by a team in the midst of a dynasty is kind of a cheat code. Toumani Camara has been Portland’s best defender all season, but that would have been a monumentally biased pick. Instead, GG wins because he’s pretty much been asked to be the primary scorer for Memphis while the team has literally a dozen players sidelined with injuries— and he’s still been pretty good. When he’s not asked to lead a team (hopefully next season) I believe his efficiency will take a leap. But for the time being, he’s solidified himself as at least a real piece of the Grizzlies future.
Memphis has about 100 young players that I love, they just all have to play at the same time…
What I’m Listening To: Cate Le Bon
Let’s give it up one time for the odd women in music! Truly one of my favorite genres: great songwriters who just make weird tunes. Never stop.
Very entertaining! Tre’Sean is a cool name!
This may be me wanting to see the world burn, but why do we not have a player/coach-voted WPOTY (worst player of the year) and WCOTY (worst coach of the year)
Draymond would prob vote for Jordan Poole