Luka Can Do the Funniest Thing Ever
Plus, finding the middle with Bronny James
We all knew the Western Conference playoffs were going to be a war. When the regular season concluded, I had no idea which team would make it out of the dark, cold trenches of the West playoffs and see the beacon of light that is the NBA Finals.
These would have been my reactions to you telling me each Western Conference team made the Finals. I’m not sure why you know who made the NBA Finals in this hypothetical, but you do. Sorcerer.
You: Quinn, the Thunder made the NBA Finals.
Me: Dang, that’s cool. They really did it. I believe you.
You: Quinn, the Timberwolves made the NBA Finals.
Me: Wow, good for them. They deserved it after the season they had.
You: Quinn, the Nuggets made the NBA Finals.
Me: They ran it back? Can’t say I’m surprised.
You: Quinn, the Clippers made the NBA Finals.
Me: Finally, they were gifted a healthy year. The talent was always there.
You: Quinn, the Pelicans or Mavericks made the NBA Finals.
Me: You fib, heathen! Time-traveling wench! Those teams don’t have the facilities to make a Finals run. Go back to whence you came, pythoness.
Don’t ask why I turned into a 16th-century bard when you told me that last one, but the point stands— I had about as much faith in Dallas making a Finals run as I did in New Orleans, which is to say, not a whole lot. Was there a universe in which I could conceive of this team making it out of the West? Sure— Luka is that good, and Kyrie is an ideal second option. Still, I didn’t think that universe was this universe because Dallas is missing something that numerous other teams in the West had in spades: good players.
Before anyone tries to beat me up by putting their fist through my screen like Videodrome, please hear me out. Even though Kyrie is a perfect Robin, and the fact that our perception of Luka had warped in the past three seasons— he’s never been anything except a top-ten player in the NBA— this team making it out of the West’s gauntlet is stunning nonetheless. Because after those two… then what? The rest of this team’s starting lineup consists of a guy on his fourth team in five seasons (Derrick Jones Jr.) and two guys who were picked up via trade from teams who were fine dumping them for picks and spare pieces (PJ Washington and Daniel Gafford.) That’s, traditionally, the starting lineup of a team that wins 45 games and puts up a fight but loses in the first round.
Luka’s run this postseason isn’t on par with LeBron James in 2007, when James carried a Cavs team that had no business being in the Finals to the Finals (LeBron didn’t have a Kyrie then. Instead, his second-leading scorer was Larry Hughes and during those playoffs, LeBron averaged 25/8/8 while no other Cav averaged more than 12 points per game. They went to the Finals.) Still, Doncic has been outlandishly good— most recently posting 32/10/8 in the WCF against one of the best defensive teams of the past decade.
Let us not forget that Dallas’ third option is Derrick Jones Jr. It’s easy to say “well, yes, but he’s playing great basketball this postseason, and so are Gafford and Washington and Dereck Lively II” and that’s true, and it’s actually crazier that they are playing this well because, while all talented, I didn’t think any of them talented enough to be irreplaceable contributors on a team making a run this deep. And I become more wrong every day.
In the NBA Playoffs, there’s an idea that star players essentially cancel each other out, and it’s up to the role players to get a team over the proverbial hump. Maybe there’s a trace of that here, because, again, the Mavs role players have been sublime, but I think they’re only allowed to be so helpful because of how monstrously, hilariously good the team’s star duo has been— even compared to the stars of opposing teams Dallas has beaten.
I’ve predicted Dallas to lose every series it has played this postseason. That’s not going to stop now— I think Boston wins in six games. But the objectively funnier outcome is that Luka goes nuclear again and Dallas wins the whole thing, and then I never make a prediction about basketball ever again.
Finding the Middle with Bronny James
This is not a scouting report. I have no inside information on where Bronny James will be drafted or if whom he is drafted by carries any bearing on where LeBron James plans to play next season. I am but a humble Substacker.
I also usually feel uncomfortable talking about teenagers because it very quickly veers into weird territory when old (I’m 26 which is essentially decrepit) sportswriters speak about the lives of kids they don’t know. But for some reason I’m compelled to write about LeBron James Jr. so I am going to and I’ll try my damndest to keep it not weird.
LeBron James Jr. — Bronny — was likely always destined for the NBA, and LeBron The Elder pulling no punches about wanting to play with his son solidified that destiny because 29 teams immediately did some simple math about how drafting Bronny would immediately create a non-zero chance that LeBron James landed in their city this summer, too.
Is this nepotism? Of course. But it’s a different kind of nepotism, a kind that veers from typical Hollywood nepotism, where sons and daughters of actors and producers and directors and executives “break into the business” by virtue of their last name, and then just kind of stick around by virtue of their last name, and no one’s really mad at them for not contributing to anything because, whatever, who’s being harmed by JJ Abrams kid hanging around after all?
Bronny’s privilege is different because I believe it will run out. It’s a limited resource, unlike the name recognition that can land someone supporting cast roles in lazy action remakes for thirty years.
So, nepotism, yes, but a brand that comes with a set of expectations placed on him. In other words, he will be expected to provide something for whatever team drafts him. He’ll be expected to provide multiple things, actually, and I don’t know if he can really provide any of them, or if any of them are in his control to begin with.
Firstly, he’ll be expected to provide his father. I know how silly that sounds, but it’s true. Because of LeBron’s quotes about playing on the same team with Bronny, the franchise that selects Bronny, whether overly or more quietly, will expect, at some level, that that draft choice will also include the services of LeBron James.
I am wholly confident that Bronny will be a first-round pick. So, after the circus of LeBron James Jr. being in the NBA dies down, he will also then be expected to play… like a first-round pick. At least. For a bit, he’ll probably be expected to play like LeBron James, but hopefully him being 6’1 and (obviously) not as gifted will rescue him from that expectation.
And, sure, it’s fair that a (probable) first-round pick will be expected to play like a first-round pick, right? Because that’s… what… he… is. But from a purely talent standpoint, Bronny probably shouldn’t be a first-round pick. So he’ll be expected to do more, immediately, than he is likely capable of.
Because of all this, I find myself wanting the Lakers to pick Bronny. In a roundabout way, him starting on the same team as his dad will mitigate some of the histrionics from the media and fans. Has being drafted by the Lakers ever led to less drama? This would be a first, I assume.
At first, it’ll be madness; the Lakers will try to gaslight us into thinking they picked Bronny because they “love him as a prospect and think he possesses tremendous upside” and we’ll all roll our eyes. But as time goes on, after we get the inevitable photo of LeBron and Bronny dapping up at center court of Crypto, and Bronny becomes the 13th or 14th man in LA, or even sent to South Bay (home of LA’s G League team) I hope he can fall into
If he starts his career in LA, the rumors of him going to LA— or, more likely, the rumors of LeBron going wherever Bronny ends up— can’t rev up in the first place.
There is a world where Bronny becomes a productive NBA player. He’s athletic, smart, quick on his feet and has the capacity to become a very good passer. He also seems like a nice kid. I don’t often feel waves of sympathy for children of famous people, but the expectations that will be hoisted on Bronny are already making me anxious. Let’s try to be normal for once?
What I’m Listening to: Moses Sumney
He’s back! And the people rejoice.
We are so back
Gotta give Jason Kidd some credit. I always wrote him off as not a real coach until say.. 3 weeks ago. Dallas has been unreal!